I just got out of the gym.. I have been hitting it hard for the past 2 weeks! Im so proud of myself =)
Anyway... it has been a rough and hard week for me.. but im getting better one step at a time, u know?
I have been at my own rehabilitation.. and it is extremely hard!! To undergo an addiction. (lol)
Not really funny.. but anyway... The gym.. (my "so called" boyfriend) never do me dirty.. ever!! He is always doing me right... in every ways, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. (specially this week) how many times was I about to go back to some of my addictions and I decided to continue my rehabilitation process.. im sure who ever reads this (if any) wouldn't know what I am talking about... unless u are my super close friend that I talk to a lot! (maybe next blog it will be about the confessions of my addiction) Blah... Ill be able to go thru this.. just the beginning of it is probably the most difficult stage!
Anyway.. I hate what I am going through right now... But u know.. sometimes everything happens for a reason so that we can learn to let go u know?
And sometimes the key to happiness is getting rid of the things you don't need. And only you hold the key to control how to simply let it go.
I have never been alone ever! I have always been with someone.. I don't know how it feels to be on my own.. i truly don't. And I don't think I would ever admit this but here goes... I don't think I would ever want to be alone (lol).. again its not funny but hey... unfortunately its what I need.
So re-evaluating myself... I guess I look for others to complete me... When I really shouldnt look too far coz its so close... so close that I just have to just look within myself to complete me.
Wow! haha Look how far the woman that I have become! =) And again I still say... Im a young woman who still has alot to learn in life.
Learning to love me, appreciate the little that I have.. and the lot. The little that we get does not satisfy us?? and A LOT complicates us?? When we get everything... its does not make us happy... but its really about your perception of things.. and not about what you have. If that makes any sense?
Anyway.. during my rehab... I sat down going crazy!!! I am unable to call or talk to anyone... I almost left!! But no one is available to come rescue me! I feel so ALONE! And Lonely... SAD... No one, absolutely NO ONE is there for me! And thats when I realized to find happiness in me =)
I talked to myself... like a crazy person.. and remembered when I started.. how far I have become... its awesome! I dont realize it because I dont take time to really sit back and observe and appreciate. So many unnecessary distractions... I really just had to learn to let go. No one is perfect.. and dont be too hard on yourself! There is only one you! Take care of you!
You cannot spend so much time trying to be right!!! Its human nature... you are only human! I am connecting with myself.. healing myself... I guess is the point of all these. Right now when I am alone... and im feeling really lonely... Im never really lonely! The quietness is such an amazing feeling.. to spend time to yourself... I can do whatever I want.... cry, laugh, dance, sing, and just reach deep down.. that inner peace.
Its just me... myself... and I...
to be continued...
Tin
