The Flight

As I lay here thinking,
will I be here this very moment?
Would I have felt this pain..
If I had not caught that plane.

I managed to catch that flight
not knowing who was awaiting.
My heart pounded nervously
As I walked towards the double doors.
Not knowing who awaits,
there you were standing still
as my face glows and blossom,
I couldn't explain why

I fell so fast
dove in without caution
I had not a single worry in the world
at that very moment,
I was ready to give you my all.

Just when I thought everything
was going beautifully unplanned.
Woke up to a peculiar feeling
one I could not explain.
I pushed that feeling aside,
believed it was insecurity.
And refused to let it in.

It was time for you to catch that flight
a tear came down my face
I waved goodbye til the double doors shut.
And off I stepped back into reality.

Slowly adjust to my cold world
didn't take long til I heard the word.
My heart was racing angrily
I ran because I could not breath.
Tears came pouring down my face
In my cold world I gave you my all!

The glow you brought to light up my face
had turned my rosey cheeks to pale.
Should I have caught that flight?
Would we have had this child?

- Christine Samonte

the truth

The Truth

Do you want to know that truth?
Are you sure you are ready for this?
Please sit back, and take a deep breath.
The Truth Hurts...
is what they say...
only now I know it was not a lie!
It even hurts me!
and that I cant lie!
and it sucks...
But get I'll get over it!
I don't want you..
I don't love you..
Damn I finally spoke the truth!
Yes I lied... in so many ways!
Yes it killed me,
tortured me,
tormented me.
The truth will set you free!
and it has finally set me free!
The biggest mistake I made,
was to lie.
And lie's will lead you in a cage!
An opened cage, and its hard to escape!
There is a key to that opened cage..
its as simple as speaking the truth.
I would lie if I said I never lied.
And again that will never set me free.
I am not perfect and neither are you,
remember when you said...
that karma was a bitch?
How does it feel?
it hurts doesn't it?
Karma only hits people,
when you constantly think about it.
But you are right!
The truth will set you free!
I could have never agreed better!
I guess its true that we do meet people for a reason.
Now the lesson is..
If you have done the wrong,
admit to it!
Don't be scared, for every actions have consequences
and once you learn that.
It will be easy for you to move on.
If you're smart,
in your next chapter,
base it on the truth!
And accept that it may not always result in good.
But at least you have freed yourself,
you don't have to hide,
pretend,
and lie.
Speak only of the truth,
But also accept the fact that it could hurt you.
Life is not always a bed of flowers,
some will prick you along the way.

Sincerely yours,
Christine (not Xtine, or DJ TinTin)

Confession

I am far from perfect,
Used to seek affirmation in my own vanity.
There are certain things I wish I could take back
But I wouldn't learn what life is about?

I'm not perfect and neither are you
Sometimes I question why people can be so crucial
So judgemental and so hateful.
I guess that's just the way life goes.

I am sorry if I have hurt you,
For those people in my life.
But I want you to understand,
you may not have heard
the true story from both sides.

I try understanding,
why I have done certain things.
But there is nothing I can do,
it's been said and done.

Please know,
that I am only human.
There are things we say out of anger
fraustration and fear.
It does not mean it comes from the heart.
There are no intentions on purposely hurting others.

The actions we may prevent,
but sometimes it's difficult to fight.
I cannot lie,
and say my actions are always for good intentions.
My mind thinks but sometimes the body does not follow.
Again I say,
I am only human.

I may have been the victim,
but have also played the role of a villain.
I have worn that "black hat"
without even realizing the character I have played.

But again understand
that there is a story behind every villain.
And that we have all played that role.
We may cover it in denial, all we want.
It lies in all of us.

This is my true confession,
pride aside, and with all honesty.
Just because someone has a negative past,
does not mean they do not deserve a chance.
It does not make them a bad person.

Life is about making mistakes
and taking chances.
If you don't take that chance,
you will be stuck in a bottle,
in a world full of positivity and possibilities.

So next time we judge someone,
by what others have said or their past.
Please remember that we are only human.
And that we ourselves have played that role.


By TinTin Samonte

Blame it on me!!!

Sometimes you can work it out
Sometimes you can't
Sometimes you forced to watch everything fall apart its out of your hands
Sometimes leaving is easy
Sometimes it aint
Sometimes it hurts to know the loving you had was slowly fading away


You can say whatever you like
As long as we just say goodbye
Blame it on me
Say its my fault
Say that i left you outside in the cold with a broken heart
I really don't care
I aint crying no more
Say i'm a liar a cheater
Say anything that you want
As long as it's over

I aint a quiter
I just aint the type
I tried to see you through
I tried to make it to the finishing line
Oooh you thought it was meant to be yeah
I admit so did i
Every once in a while you think you figured it out
Sometimes your not right

You can say whatever you like
As long as we just say goodbye
Blame it on me
Say its my fault
Say that i left you outside in the cold with a broken heart
I really don't care
I aint crying no more
Say i'm a liar a cheater
Say anything that you want
As long as it's over

Yes i love you but i really got to loose you
Freedom is where i want to be
Yes i'll probably always love you
But i'm moving
I got to do this for me

You can say whatever you like
As long as we just say goodbye
Blame it on me
Say its my fault
Say that i left you outside in the cold with a broken heart
I really don't care
I aint crying no more
Say i'm a liar a cheater
Say anything that you want
As long as it's over

Blame It On Me - Chrisette Michele

Love- my honest opinion

Love is not always a beautiful thing.
Love can hit you in a blink of an eye.
I don't believe in love at first sight.
It is simply nothing but a fairy tale.

You can make someone love you
But love will always find its way.
Love can feel like you are in cloud9
but love can hurt you and blind you.

Love is a beautiful thing
only if you let it happen on its own.
You cannot push love upon someone.
Love is so magical,
and it is meant for everyone.
It just takes time, when you least expect.
And love is something you cannot run away from.

I am not ready for love
Why do i say this?
The topic of love makes me feel
awkward and uncomfortable.

Unsure of what love means.
Unsure of how its supposed to feel.
Im scared of it, afraid of it.
And would run away from it.

There is nothing wrong with me.
Im simply not ready.
So don't bring up that topic.
It scares the shit out of me.

I am no longer that girl
who believes in love at the beginning.
It doesn't mean I dont believe
but i do know I have a lot to learn.

And just because I run away from it,
I know love is not supposed to make you feel awkward.
And right now I do.
And I'm sorry.

I didn't say I don't believe in love
When that magical time happens
I will not be afraid of it
I will not feel uncomfortable

I will probably not even know
The word love may not cross my mind.
Because its one of those that just happens.
Its not just word, its actions.

My actions are lost,
and its okay, its life.
You live, love and learn.
When I finally find myself
My actions will speak for itself.

*tin

Dont get discouraged by this, its just my honest opinion.

Thanks

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO MY FELLOW BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE


"Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.
"
"Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.
"







xsamonte. blogspot. com & twitter. com/xtinesamonte


Altho I have no date and have to work all day today =( my heart is still celebrating this beautiful day!


peace&love
~xtine

to let go

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving,
It only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.
Letting go is not just setting the other person free,But is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, Hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.
Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith,
And never allow pain to dishearten you;
But rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

Let it go

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
LET THEM GO!
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET THEM GO!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET THEM GO!
If someone has angered you...LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...LET THEM GO!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET THEM GO!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...LET THEM GO!
If you have a bad attitude...LET THEM GO!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...LET THEM GO!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET THEM GO!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...LET THEM GO!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed...LET THEM GO!
Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...LET THEM GO

random feelings

I just got out of the gym.. I have been hitting it hard for the past 2 weeks! Im so proud of myself =)

Anyway... it has been a rough and hard week for me.. but im getting better one step at a time, u know?
I have been at my own rehabilitation.. and it is extremely hard!! To undergo an addiction. (lol)
Not really funny.. but anyway... The gym.. (my "so called" boyfriend) never do me dirty.. ever!! He is always doing me right... in every ways, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. (specially this week) how many times was I about to go back to some of my addictions and I decided to continue my rehabilitation process.. im sure who ever reads this (if any) wouldn't know what I am talking about... unless u are my super close friend that I talk to a lot! (maybe next blog it will be about the confessions of my addiction) Blah... Ill be able to go thru this.. just the beginning of it is probably the most difficult stage!

Anyway.. I hate what I am going through right now... But u know.. sometimes everything happens for a reason so that we can learn to let go u know?
And sometimes the key to happiness is getting rid of the things you don't need. And only you hold the key to control how to simply let it go.

I have never been alone ever! I have always been with someone.. I don't know how it feels to be on my own.. i truly don't. And I don't think I would ever admit this but here goes... I don't think I would ever want to be alone (lol).. again its not funny but hey... unfortunately its what I need.
So re-evaluating myself... I guess I look for others to complete me... When I really shouldnt look too far coz its so close... so close that I just have to just look within myself to complete me.

Wow! haha Look how far the woman that I have become! =) And again I still say... Im a young woman who still has alot to learn in life.

Learning to love me, appreciate the little that I have.. and the lot. The little that we get does not satisfy us?? and A LOT complicates us?? When we get everything... its does not make us happy... but its really about your perception of things.. and not about what you have. If that makes any sense?
Anyway.. during my rehab... I sat down going crazy!!! I am unable to call or talk to anyone... I almost left!! But no one is available to come rescue me! I feel so ALONE! And Lonely... SAD... No one, absolutely NO ONE is there for me! And thats when I realized to find happiness in me =)
I talked to myself... like a crazy person.. and remembered when I started.. how far I have become... its awesome! I dont realize it because I dont take time to really sit back and observe and appreciate. So many unnecessary distractions... I really just had to learn to let go. No one is perfect.. and dont be too hard on yourself! There is only one you! Take care of you!
You cannot spend so much time trying to be right!!! Its human nature... you are only human! I am connecting with myself.. healing myself... I guess is the point of all these. Right now when I am alone... and im feeling really lonely... Im never really lonely! The quietness is such an amazing feeling.. to spend time to yourself... I can do whatever I want.... cry, laugh, dance, sing, and just reach deep down.. that inner peace.

Its just me... myself... and I...

to be continued...

Tin